The Love That Never Was
by UnknownNumber
Summary: One doesn't need a heart to love.   For Dualism


Author's Note- This was started by a running contest on another site in which I chose to enter, but it was inspired by **Dualism **and thus written for her. For I am fairly sure that the sun and the moon rise and set upon her door step and if you haven't gone to read her stories then go do that now. Single handedly she managed to make Zemyx my OTP and he stories are some of the most well written, heart touching pieces of fanfiction I have ever had the pleasure of reading.

Disclaimer- I don't own Kingdom Hearts in any way, shape, or form. That's pretty much all.

XxX

Inside the castle that stood at the core of the World that Never Was, there were few places, if any at all, that one could consider 'noisy'. And yet there was no place that was as silent as the room known only as 'Proof of Existence'. It was in that room that the Superior had chosen to place gateways for each of his Organization members, allowing them to access their own private parts of the castle; in essence their rooms or 'lairs'. Ironically, most of the members chose not to use the gateways and to stay away from the Proof of Existence. For whatever reason, that room was one that every member avoided, if they could so help it.

Which was exactly what one lone Nobody needed.

His footsteps echoed slowly and hollowly as he crossed the floor of the Hall of Empty Melodies; the sound only pausing momentarily as he stopped to push the doors leading outside open with a creek of protest. Beyond the doors, a steady and heavy rain fell, causing him to pull the hood of his coat up about his head as he stepped out into it. He had seen it rain only once before in the world he called home and a small part of him bitterly cursed it, for with the rain had come the beginning of the end, for not long after number thirteen of the Organization had left. And the rain's return seemed simply to mock the weight that pressed upon his shoulders.

As he walked up the ramp ways of Naught's Skyway, a few lesser Nobodies rose to meet him, judging if he was a threat or a master before seeming to almost melt back into the floor just as silently as they had come. Once on his way he slipped on the rain soaked ramps and crashed harshly to the ground, and he didn't get up right away. He simply lay there with the water falling around him while also trickling down the ramp like a river as his saddened blue eyes gazed off at the distant moon known as Kingdom Hearts as if seeking an answer to an unasked question. That cold moon gave him no comfort however, no answer or reply and so he slowly pushed himself to his feet once more and again started on his way. Part of him knew he was being foolish, that he could easily open a dark portal that would get him to his destination, which would have been much easier than trying to navigate the wet metal ramps, but there was another part of him that didn't want to have anything more to do with that ability or any ability he had gained by becoming a Nobody. And thus he continued on his way until he reached the top of the Skyway and entered through the door way that lead to the upper balcony of the Hall of Empty Melodies.

Walking across the balcony towards the opposing wall, his foot steps and the soft 'plink' of water droplets that dripped from him echoed and seemed to fill every inch of the Hall as he passed through it. Had any saw him at that point they would have known that something was weighing heavily on his shoulders; that he was upset, though he wasn't worried about being discovered, and even if he was he wouldn't care. His mind was blank, yet focused; empty, and yet filled with emotions that should not have been possible for a Nobody to feel, according to Xemnas and his explanations. Yet he felt them all the same.

Shuffling to a stop outside the doorway to Proof of Existence, he shifted his weight uneasily. The room felt noticeably colder than the other rooms of the castle; seemed darker as well, the only real lights coming from the blue gateways that stood like silent sentries, quietly humming with whatever power sustained them. Inhaling sharply he stepped across the threshold, shivering slightly as the cold enveloped him. In front of him stood the twelve gates; seven glowing blue and functioning while five others lay broken and in pieces; the plaques in front of them burning an angry red.

Pushing back his hood, Demyx leaned momentarily against the wall. He had been to Proof of Existence once, like every member, when he had first been taken in by the Organization, and from that day on he had not returned there. But since Xemnas had sent five of the other members to Castle Oblivion in an attempt to get a hold of Sora, there had been odd rumors circulating through the ranks. There were many whispers that at random times, if one was close enough, one would hear a loud crack or explosion as well as an ear splitting scream; after which the silence of the castle settled back even thicker than before. Then came the rumors that after each such happening, if one ventured into Proof of Existence, one would find one of the gateways broken. It wasn't long after the fifth gate was said to break that the news of the deaths came.

Slowly pushing himself from the wall, Demyx walked forward towards the gates that had become grave-like in resemblance.

The Graceful Assassin, The Savage Nymph, The Chilly Academic, The Silent Hero… he walked past them all, his fallen comrades, to stand in front of one in particular gate. It was sixth in the order, and something caught in his throat as he looked upon it.

The Cloaked Schemer's gate was so destroyed that it was no more than a pile of rubble, and the marker in front was non existent. Demyx's body shook with more than just the cold and his legs seemed to give out from under him. He collapsed in front of the marker, reaching out with gloved hands to gently touch it as if what was left was more fragile than glass. Water dripped upon the broken pieces, but it wasn't from his coat. Shaking his head back and forth he found himself unable to think about anything; his mind was a complete blank and he was in shock.

"… Z-Zexion…"

That single word was so pain filled, so utterly devoid of hope and choked by tears, that it would have surely moved the coldest of people to feel compassion.

"No… No, no, no!" he pounded his fist into the ground; doubled over in grief. He hadn't believed what the others had said, he hadn't believed when the Superior had so calmly announced the news that the party at Castle Oblivion had been completely wiped out. He had refused to hear it, he had laughed it off. But seeing the state of the gateways proved it all to be true. They truly were graves; if the Nobody that belonged there faded, so too would the gate. No one had made the connection before the events at Castle Oblivion. There had been no way to. "… Zexion…"

Outside, the thunder roared and shook the castle to its very foundation, while lightning traced patterns across the dark and empty sky as if fueled by the young Nobody's pain as he lost himself in memory.

XxX

"Zexion!"

The smaller Nobody turned his head a fraction to glance behind him, a little surprised that anyone would be calling his name. Few of the other members would purposely seek him out for the simple fact that he was rather antisocial and preferred books to physical company. Intrigued, he decided to grace his pursuer with his company and turned fully around to face him. A second later the person that had called out for him rounded the spiral that was known as Twilight's View and skidded to a stop on the platform bellow Zexion's.

"Number nine," he said softly with a slight nod of his head; his way of acknowledging him. Though he had never really spoken with Demyx before, he was aware of him. It was actually hard not to be, for the blonde was by far the most friendly and the most sociable of the entire Organization. Over all, he was a bit of a misfit amongst them for that simple fact.

"It really was you! I thought I saw you walk up here…" the blonde seemed to lose his train of thought at that moment and took a minute to stop and try to re-gather it.

"Number nine, was there something specific that you needed?"

"It's Demyx," he replied off handedly; arms crossed over his chest as he looked at the ground in thought. A few seconds later, he looked up again and laughed. "You know… I didn't think that it would actually be you, so I didn't get past the whole 'hunt down Zexion' part of my plan."

"You of all people should not be allowed to 'plan' anything," Zexion said as he turned around and started to walk off, though a nod from his head told Demyx to follow him. "Though clearly if you had purpose to 'hunt me down' you had a specific reason?"

Nodding, Demyx quickly caught up and fell into stride beside the shorter Nobody. "That's just it. I really have no idea how to ask. It's kind of funny really."

"I believe the term is 'just spit it out'."

"Um, ok…" Demyx took a moment to think a bit longer. "I guess I just wanted to know if it was true that you were going on a mission to try and capture the key bearer."

Zexion sighed softly in an annoyed manner. "I suppose that number eight told you?"

"Yep!"

"I should have known… I'm not sure what the Superior was thinking when he decided to send _him_ along. And now it's hardly a 'classified' mission," the two of them passed through the door way to the Hall of Empty Melodies. "Yes, number nine-"

"Demyx."

"-I am leaving on that mission tonight. And I would prefer that you keep any information about said mission to yourself."

Out of everything Zexion said, Demyx only got one thing. "… You're… really leaving tonight?"

"Yes," Zexion said with a nod then looked at the man beside him. "There are a great many things that you are failing to mention, number nine-"

"_Demyx_."

"At any rate, what exactly is the meaning behind all of these questions that should not concern you in the least?"

Without any warning, Demyx reached out and took Zexion's hand with his own; entwining their fingers loosely and swinging their arms back and forth in an over exaggerated movement as they walked across the Hall's floor. The shorter Nobody was taken by surprise at the action, but even more of a surprise was the warmth that flooded into his body by such a simple touch. Even through gloved hands, it was if he was holding onto light itself. Looking up into Demyx's face, he felt something odd catch in his chest at the look of calm that danced in those crystal clear eyes.

"Of course it concerns me, Zexy!" he said and Zexion found himself not cringing at the use of such an annoying nickname. "Because… I don't want you to get hurt. And Axel said that… well, he said that some of the members going may not be coming back."

Zexion could respond with nothing as Demyx drug him outside into Naught's Skyway, leading him to one of the small balconies instead of up the ramp ways, which was for the best. The Skyway was often empty; secluded. Their voices and their steps didn't echo around, bouncing off the walls to return to them but rather they dispersed into the air the way they should; sounding clear and normal.

"It's a risk we all take, Demyx," Zexion finally found his voice as he worked his hand free and walked over to lean against the wall; crossing his arms upon the railing and looking out towards the unfinished Kingdom Hearts. When Demyx stepped forward to join him, he turned to look at him only to find that he was smiling softly; an odd look upon his face that Zexion knew, and yet couldn't place. "What is it?"

"… You finally called me by name," he said softly, turning that smile towards Zexion.

"I… it…" Zexion scowled slightly at being taken off guard and looked back towards the pale moon of the World that Never Was. "… Well, it's certainly shorter to say than your rank I suppose."

The two stood in silence for a long time after that, each thinking through their own thoughts; Demyx trying to figure out what to say, Zexion trying to figure out why he was still standing there and enjoying, for once, the company. A few times, Demyx would sigh heavily and back away from the railing to pace back and forth, before sighing again and returning to where he had started; looking out towards Kingdom Hearts as well. At said times, Zexion inexplicably found himself wanting to reach out and lay a hand on the taller man's shoulder, perhaps in a comforting manner; but he resisted that urge and would just watch Demyx in a sideways glance.

"Zexion, do you really believe that we can't feel emotions?" Demyx asked suddenly in the middle of one of his pacing spells.

"I do," he answered with a very slight shrug of his shoulders. "The heart acts like a collection box of emotions. Without it, we only have the memories of how things felt."

Continuing to stare out over the dark scenery that was their world, Zexion didn't see Demyx stop pacing and turn to him, nor did he see the other Nobody step up behind him. No, he only realized where Demyx was when he felt two arms slide around his waist and found the blonde leaning down to rest his head upon his shoulder.

"If that's the case," he asked in a voice that was hardly above a whisper. "… Why does it hurt so bad to think that you're leaving?"

It was as if Zexion had been immersed in fire. Warmth washed over him; an odd sense of peace accompanying it. He felt comforted and safe, and as if on instinct he settled back into the embrace; placing his hands over Demyx's. In his mind there was no memory of ever being held before and it seemed an almost cruel irony that it should be an experience he first partake of without a heart. Thoughts of how it must be to have emotions, to have feelings, in such a situation were intriguing, but as odd as it was he didn't think that there would be much different. A small part of him felt sure that even with a heart he would be feeling the same; warm.

"Zexy?"

"… It's probably simply because you were once sentimental, thus the thought of losing someone is something you remember and you react accordingly," the words didn't sound right as they left his lips. Could Xemnas possibly be wrong? They were Nobodies; they remembered, they filled in the blanks with remembered actions, but they didn't feel-

"Zexion, I love you."

It was as if every other sound in the world faded, and only those four words existed, causing every muscle in the Schemer's body to tense. Slowly, he released himself from Demyx's embrace, which wasn't hard considering the blonde let him go willingly, and then turned to face him. For the first time he could remember those crystal blue eyes seemed clouded with sadness, and something else. They were so much softer, not wide and innocent like normal, and he was looking only at Zexion; almost looking through him. Then it hit him. He not only knew the normal look that shone in Demyx's eyes but he knew other things too. Favorite food, the way he walked, his favorite places, that he would practice singing and playing his sitar every day at certain times… he had unknowingly kept a watchful eye on the blonde whenever he had the chance to, without ever realizing it.

And Demyx had done the same.

"Deymx…" Zexion started slowly, for once completely unsure of what to say. "The sentiment is… appreciated, I suppose, but you are a Nobody, as am I. You have no heart, therefore no emotions. Many can be remembered, faked, but love is… different. That is the one emotion you _need_ a heart for."

"Why?" Demyx asked quietly; sadly. "Why do I need a heart? To prove to you I can feel? Why do I need a heart to confirm that it makes me sad to think of you leaving, that the thought of you not coming back makes my eyes water? That I would love to sit beside you as you read, or that it makes me happy knowing that you sit right outside the door of the higher balconies and listen to me when I play my sitar? Yes, I know you do that Zexion; I notice things just as well as anyone else does. But is the heart really necessary to feel things, when I know without a doubt that I love you, Zexion? That I love you, Ienzo."

His visible eye widening a bit, Zexion tried to take a step back simply due to being called that name. He hadn't been aware that any other than the original Organization members knew it, and he certainly hadn't been called by it for longer than he could remember. But hearing Demyx call him that, so calmly and after making such an intelligent, (not to mention touching), argument, caused his chest to ache and for him to actually admit to himself a feeling of longing; of regret at having lost his heart. Looking down, he placed one hand over his chest as if feeling for the presence of a pulse. The foundations of all his thoughts was quickly crumbling and he was starting to wonder if maybe Demyx wasn't the tiniest bit right.

"I…" he coughed once to clear his voice. "… I can't say that I fully agree with your theory."

Demyx opened his mouth to say something, his eyes betraying a sense of near panic like one who was about to plead their case. But when Zexion walked back into his arms and returned the earlier embrace, he stopped.

"But… I will say that I wouldn't mind hearing you say that last bit again."

For the briefest of moments Demyx did nothing, and then he smiled and his eyes shown so brightly that it put the beauty of Kingdom Hearts to shame. Then he laughed and placed one gloved hand under Zexion's chin and tilted his head up so that as Demyx looked down at him, their eyes met.

"You know, I think I may be able to do one better."

And as he lowered his head down, Zexion did a most uncharacteristic thing.

He smiled.

XxX

Time slowly managed to coax Demyx from the Proof of Existence and his memories, and he found himself at the top of the Alter of Naught; just sitting like a lost child at the center, looking blankly up at the silent Kingdom Hearts. Normally, Demyx would never have been there, and if Xemnas found him he would certainly be in trouble. The Alter was something that only Xemnas or his select few were permitted to visit, but Demyx didn't care. A part of him thought it would be better to be found and punished, or perhaps cast out of the Organization.

Rain washed over his upturned face, though it could not effectively hide the tears that coursed in set trails down his cheeks to fall upon the ground. Above, lightning arched and flashed; some bolts striking the castle. The thunder roared, sounding like cannon fire; a sound that engulfed everything. It was as if the world was trying to rip itself apart, or perhaps maybe it was mourning. If each world had a heart for the heartless to devour, did that mean that a world could feel? Did a world that was the home of Nobodies even have a heart to devour? The thoughts slipped away from Demyx's mind. He had no will to think. That had been Zexion's job.

Instead, he summoned his sitar, and he played. And had anyone been there to hear his music, they would have known through the notes that a Nobody could feel as much emotion as one with a heart could.

But the only person who had ever listened to Demyx play was gone.

_End_


End file.
